Keeping Up With the Kardashians (KUWtK), after nine seasons on television, is down to a 2.8/10 rating on IMDb. The reality TV show that follows the drama of an extremely wealthy (though neither talented nor remarkable) family, the blended Kardashians and Jenners, has lived a very full and eventful life, but as will eventually happen to all things, it is now dying. I know we will all be desperately sad when the show’s creators finally unplug it from the machines keeping it alive, but practicality dictates we now begin asking where to go next. Despite the difficulty of even considering a world without the Kardashians, I have suffered through the pain to answer that question. I have not written a eulogy to be read over the diamond encrusted, chocolate dipped coffin of the show at its funeral in the Canary Islands (Norman Tanner Olsen is currently working on that); instead, I have written up The Last Will and Testament of KUWtK. All it needs is Ryan Seacrest’s signature and we’ll be ready to salvage a future out the wreckage of a world without Kim (or Bruce. He’s my favourite). I would post the actual document, but, out of the enfenite (S/O) goodness of my heart, I will spare you the legalise and summarize it instead.
The Last Will and Testament of KUWtK
The shows resources, crew, television spot, and fan-base will all be bequeathed to a new show: “Keeping Up With Olympus Musical Theatre”.
Signed: [Ryan Seacrest to sign here]
Keeping Up With Musical Theatre is a reality Television show based on the three female musical theatre directors at an ordinary American high school: Ms. Auburn, the theatre director and the Drama teacher at the school; Ms. White, the music director and the Choir teacher at the school; and Ms. Black, the dance director and (?).
What’s that you say, American Television viewers? You’ll miss the drama of the Kardashian family? Introducing Musical Theatre, the Blue Meth of drama. One hit of this and you’ll never look back. You know what they say, “Nobody does drama like the dramatic.” What’s that you say, American Television viewers? Nobody says, “Nobody does drama like the dramatic”? Well I do, and I’m Julius Freaking Caesar. Little known fact: My middle name actually is Freaking. I’m so Freaking cool that they made my middle name a curse. Crassus’s middle name is Dagnabbit. Pompeius isn’t cool enough to have his middle name turn into a curse; his is Bilious.
BOTTOM LINE: We are all sad to see Keeping Up With the Kardashians on its way out, but with all death comes new life!
The Last Will and Testament of KUWtK
The shows resources, crew, television spot, and fan-base will all be bequeathed to a new show: “Keeping Up With Olympus Musical Theatre”.
Signed: [Ryan Seacrest to sign here]
Keeping Up With Musical Theatre is a reality Television show based on the three female musical theatre directors at an ordinary American high school: Ms. Auburn, the theatre director and the Drama teacher at the school; Ms. White, the music director and the Choir teacher at the school; and Ms. Black, the dance director and (?).
What’s that you say, American Television viewers? You’ll miss the drama of the Kardashian family? Introducing Musical Theatre, the Blue Meth of drama. One hit of this and you’ll never look back. You know what they say, “Nobody does drama like the dramatic.” What’s that you say, American Television viewers? Nobody says, “Nobody does drama like the dramatic”? Well I do, and I’m Julius Freaking Caesar. Little known fact: My middle name actually is Freaking. I’m so Freaking cool that they made my middle name a curse. Crassus’s middle name is Dagnabbit. Pompeius isn’t cool enough to have his middle name turn into a curse; his is Bilious.
BOTTOM LINE: We are all sad to see Keeping Up With the Kardashians on its way out, but with all death comes new life!