My Name is NoNot all is fun in dating. The past couple of weeks, I have heard from multiple people that they don’t enjoy dating. Maybe it’s not the right time, or maybe it’s that you don’t enjoy being around a person that repeatedly asks you out. Whatever your reason for doing so, it’s important to be able to say “No,” if you really don’t want to go on a date. But it’s hard, both for the asked and for the asker. For the asked, because you don’t want to hurt the other person. For the asker, because being rejected does hurt. The point of this column is to ease some of that pain, for both the asked and the asker.
For the asked: 1. Come up with creative non-lies to reject the person. If you lie, you are definitely going to feel guilty. If you tell the truth straight up, you’re going to feel bad as well. Luckily, you can back your way into the truth. For example: -“I find your love addicting, like a drug. My mom also told me to say no to drugs…” -“A relationship between us would work out less than a 400 pound college student during finals week. However, you look nicer and less stressed than said college student. Keep it up and you’ll find someone!” 2. If you really can’t reject them in person or over the phone, there are other ways to reject them. Texting them is not a great option. It can be misinterpreted and the person probably deserves more than that. But, you can change your voicemail greeting. The next time they call you to ask you out, let the voicemail get it: -“Hi John. I can’t answer the phone right now, but I just wanted to tell you that I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship with you at the moment. I hope you understand. Also, If you want me to set you up with any of my friends, just leave me a message!” (Beep) This also works very well with political calls. 3. Make a choice and stick to it. If you don’t like them and have already told them, don’t do anything that could be interpreted as leading them on. Don’t bake them cookies to say sorry, because you’re not actually sorry. Don’t try to be friends unless you actually want to be friends with them. That would hurt them even more and make you feel even worse around them. It’s like ripping off a band-aid. If you rip off a band-aid and tell it you want to be friends, you now have to spend every other Friday night with an old band-aid and the band-aid is still a gross old band-aid. If you’re not compatible as a couple or as friends, don’t be either. For the asker: 1. Learn to take a hint. Sometimes, people don’t take my advice above (probably because they’ve never read this blog, because if they would have read it, they’d be using it. Save these people by sharing the news about theringostar.weebly.com with them!). These people may resort to dropping hints, such as: -“Oh, Thursday? I can’t that day because I have a test next Monday. Next Tuesday? I can’t. I’ll be completely wiped out after that test Monday. Yeah, beginner guitar class tests are the worst.” -“I can’t. My parents are coming in town this weekend and I have to spend time with them. Yeah, I do live at home. Why?” If you hear these things, just give up. If they’re really interested but just can’t go out that day, they’ll either seem very excited or suggest another day to go out. 2. Two can play at that game. If they reject you, play hard to get. This may cause them to be a little confused and they may even be intrigued by your sudden change. Two possibilities emerge: They become interested in you again or they are relieved that you took it so well, avoiding a possible awkward situation. 3. Rejoice in the money you save by not having to take them on a date. Invest in the stock market. Create a man cave. Buy ice cream. In all of this, make sure you follow the financial advice found here at theringostar.weebly.com. |
Currently on business in the Canary Islands |
Space Sucks After returning from a two-year film hiatus (a sort of refreshing cinematic cleanse diet that I would recommend to all), I began to wane myself back onto movie-watching by following suggestions from family. Of the first movies that I watched, I bring up two: Christopher Nolan’s space epic Interstellar (2014) and Ridley Scott’s The Martian (2015). Coincidentally one of the last movies I watched before beginning my filmatic cleanse was Gravity (2014). In a two year span, my main experience with blockbuster cinema has been three arguably similar movies on the subject of space travel. As I’ve pondered on these movies, I have come to a conclusion, what I would consider one of the great lessons of cinema; that is, “space sucks”.
Now this isn’t meant to be a sub-par pun referring to the vacuum of space; rather it is a practical and applicable summary of two years of filmmaking. Some would try to argue that two years of a great variety of movie genres cannot be summarized in one succinct statement, but it seems to have worked for the past six years at least: 2010-2012, Vampires suck (once again not meant as a sub-par pun); 2012-2014, Zombies suck; and now 2014-2016, space sucks. This highlights one of the great benefits of film-watching. We can learn invaluable lessons on many subjects without actually subjecting ourselves to the particular horrors of it. We are able to get a sense for extreme solitude, thousand-foot tidal waves, bland space food, extreme proximity to annoying people for long periods of time, leaving behind family, dying (to name a very, very few of the perils of space travel) without ever having to live it ourselves. Not only does space suck, many things suck. Thanks to movies, we’re able to identify those things without having to be “sucked” ourselves. And so we begin a new age in film analysis here at The Ringo Star. |